Amy

I hate feeling like my life is being decided for me, lived for me, like I have no say over me, anymore. When did something that usually got asked as a question, turn into a statement? Why does one feel the need to control everything? I’m sorry, but no, its NOT worth the money. We don’t want the same things. Don’t act like you care to know what I want for me, you never listen. I feel like I’m sitting here with my life, looking at all the possibilities, seeing opportunity, getting excited and making a plan, but then here you come, grab me by the arm, and then drag me in a different direction, all with a smile on, as I scream in my head “No, I don’t want to!”. You won’t let me voice my opinion on the matter, you just assume what you want is what I want… ITS NOT and you’re driving me insane. Please don’t get mad when I blow up at you, but you WONT listen to me! Its a trapping feeling, and it makes me want to get up and drive away, till I can’t feel your hold on my life any longer. I promise not to screw it up, I know your scared, but THIS is MY life… not yours, please let me make mistakes, I need a few to balance me out. I’ve lived too long trying to keep you, and everyone else around me, happy, I need to make me happy. I need to figure out HOW to make me happy, but I can’t do that when its a consent battle with you. Just stop… before you loose me too.

Why can’t I, just for a day, NOT be in love with you? I bet It would be the best day, EVER!

When there’s a big, open, huge, black hole in your stomach, like you’ve been hit… The one that makes you feel like you’re going to throw up, or just fall down because your legs feel like they’re going to give out. Ughhh :( AWFUL!